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Madison Doll [userpic]

Sweet September!

October 2nd, 2006 (08:24 pm)

Thought that I would check in for those who are wondering about my departure. I am fine and all is well. I just decided that it would be a good time to take a break from the biz. Focus on my studies and a some personal business. ;-)

School is keeping my very busy. 5 courses. 18hours of class a week. TONS of reading! OH mY! Of course I love it, I am a huge nerd. Haven't really made any friends yet. I really do try to keep to myself. University friends tend to mean trouble. Trouble of the drunken kind. I think it is just better to stay away. I am going to write my political science paper about Sex Work on a Global scale. I am looking forward to putting all my knowledge from the biz and all I learned at the International Aids conference to good use. Hopefully my prof will enjoy the read. I should rephrase...Hopefully my TA will enjoy the read. God knows that the profs aren't reading any papers!!! HA I am almost certain that my History prof is a former client. I am afraid to get to close because we might recognize each other. Out of context though and it was a long time ago. Who knows??? Maybe a little extra credit? ;-)

Other than that I have been back and forth to the vet with my little dog several times over the last few months. Seems like everything goes wrong for her. Thousands of dollars later, she seems to be on the mend. At least I hope...Don't think that the bank account can stand anymore emergency visits. Oh how we love our children.

Nothing really juicy or sexy to report. I did get a hot little pair of glasses. They make me kinda feel like a librarian or a secretary or something. This brings dirty little thoughts to my head. Well for another time. Off to read more...

Until next time,
XOXO
Maddie

Madison Doll [userpic]

At what price do we sell our souls?

August 10th, 2006 (02:51 pm)

****This is deep so if you aren't into that sort of thing I suggest that you stop reading now. It doesn't turn into any kind of steamy story****

When does this stop being fun? I ask this because over the course of my working career as an escort I have had tons of fun. I have meet interesting people male and female alike. Shared experiences fit for the silver screen. Yet everything around me is dark, everything around me this world that is.

At the end of the school year last year I went out with a few people from class for drinks. I was sitting at the table next to a guy who was a little older than me (26-27). He was sharing tales of his old job at The Brass Rail as a busboy. He went on to make broad sweeping statements about the kind of people who do "that" work, theses "strippers." How do they look into the mirror at themselves and be satisfied with the fact that they sell their body for money? He went on and on about how they have low self esteem and do anything to make a buck. I turned to him and said "What do you think about escorts/prostitutes and other forms of sexworkers? Are they all just money grubbing whores?" His response was, "Yes." I continued. "So you have known me all year right." Yeah. "I seem normal to you?" Yeah. "Don't look like a crack head or a crazy person?" Umm...No. "Well I am a prostiute/sexworker/hooker/whore and slut. And have been for the past 2 years of my life." What do you think now???? He looked at me for a minute...Really??? Then the flood of questions began...How do you do it? Do you like it? What about all the gross guys? So on and so on...

In March of this year I met a client who I have been seeing very regular for the past 5 months. We spend about 4 overnights a month and a few dates. Sometimes more and sometimes less. He is an older gentleman, on his way to divorce and has more money on his hands then he knows what to do with. We began our "relationship" with a standard envelope and cash set up. Then we began to make "frequent flyer deals." The next thing I know I am taking $5000 deposit checks which was a sort of prepayment for my services. This sounds good right...What I haven't mentioned is that along this path I allowed this man access to my personal thoughts, my life and far more control over me than he should have been allowed. It started with..."will you change you hair color for me. I will give you a nice gift." I thought sure, I change me hair all the time, why not. Then it was, "You can't wear those clothes anymore they aren't classy enough." Well okay, I don't mind dressing up. But it didn't stop there...
It spun out of control to the point were I was wearing his hair, his clothes, his jewerly, and his shoes. Watching his shows, listening to his music. ETC>>>>

Where had I gone in all of this????

The turning point for me was on a trip that I took with this man and another woman. We were out on the patio in the evening and he made a really rude comment to me. Basically that he would tell me what we were going to do and that me opinion was second to that of the other women. This sent me flying. I was thinking how rude! Who does he think he is and what makes him think he can talk to me like that. Coupled with the 1000 other things this man has done. I asked myself. Is all this really worth the $???

So after these two different situations I can to the conclusion:

I am a sexworker and I take money for sexually related services. The day that I decided to give up who I am is the day that I have become the Whore that my fellow student was speaking of. The day that I fall into that stereotype. Allowing anything other than myself to control me. The day I sell my soul. That day is not today!

MD

Madison Doll [userpic]

As Promised...Something Steamy!

August 3rd, 2006 (12:48 pm)

As some of you may have noticed I have new photos! (The crowd yells WHOO!)Yes these lovely photos are courtesy of my dear friend Morgan Ellis. She is not a professional photographer but yesterday she played one for Simone and I.

The morning begins with Simones arrival at the office and some pre-photo planning. Little comments on the size of each others breasts and nervous anticipation of the photo shoot. What should we do??? We had big ideas of a pillow fight. We will wear matching see through lingerie outfits and smack each other with soft down pillows. Then it can turn into a bra and panties match. We would both fight to tear the others clothing. First girl who is naked loses the game. (or wins depending on how you look at it.) Morgan arrives and quickly squashes the pillow fight idea. She says that it never turns out the way you want it to on film.(better saved for live action, more on that later...)

The costumes were chosen and the backdrop set. Simone was first up with her lingerie pics. I was assisting Ms. Ellis by placing Simone long soft lock across her face to add mystery and tucking stray nipples back into their restrictive bindings. We shared some laughs at positions and some uncontrollable ass grabbing. (Morgan's ass is just so grab-able.) At one point Morgan broke into song about "Simone's Sweet Ass." Simone felt a little shy I think. Naked in front of the two of us and so vulnerable to the camera and the onlooking eager eyes. I took her aside, her back to the wall.Gave her a warm hug and a deep soft kiss to make her feel more at home. I helped her to take off the lace and mesh outfit she had on. Pulling it down her body so that my hands could graze all of her curvy figure, moving ever so slowly as the pace of her heart beat increased. Stopping at all of her sweet spots with pausing pressure. Watching her beautiful face flush with blushing pleasure. Just then Hailey arrived...

Hailey walked into the bedroom and said with a coy tone, "Well...What is going on here ladies?" This of course made Simone even more shy, being caught in the act. She went out on the porch for some fresh air. It was my turn for the camera. I got onto the bed and Morgan gave direction. She said...Pretend like nobody is watching you. Instinctively my eyes closed and the fantastic images began to flood my ming. I settled my body into the pillow and allowed my mind to continue to wander. I slide one hand between my thighs and one across my breasts. I heard the camera snapping but all that I could think about was Simone. The way she felt, her sweet smell and her soft lips. I took the heel of my stiletto and pulled my g-string free. Exposing my sweet spot to my curious hands and fingers. I opened my eyes and looked into the lens of the camera. Could Morgan read my honest excitement? Did she know what I was thinking of? The returning look showed me that maybe she was thinking the same thing...

To be continued...

Maddie

Madison Doll [userpic]

Long Time Gone!

August 1st, 2006 (08:14 am)

Just longed in and realized that it has been a long time since I have updated here....I promise to be better.

Summer time is in full swing and sooooo hot! I don't have ac at home so I spend may hours naked in front of large fans. It works well. I must admit though sometimes I wonder what the people peeping in my window are looking at.:-0

I am gearing up to register for another year of school.(That's why I'm up so early. 10am registration time.)BLAAA...

I have been working VERY hard to redesign the SWAG site http:www.sex-work.org and boy oh boy does it look amazing. I can't wait. It is done in CSS and I think looks much cleaner and more organized. I have a feeling that Pixie is a little upset. She had worked very hard on the original. BUT...This will make it even greater and that is what we both want.

I have been doing volunteer work over the summer for a Women's Shelter and I am volunteering at the AIDS conference. I am hoping to sit in on a few seminars so that I can bring back the knowledge to the SWAG site.

I know that this entry is about business and not very sexy. I promise my next entry will be steamy and soon!

Have a wonderful day!
Maddie

PS> To my friend who is recovering from a tough surgery. I know that you read this...My thoughts are with you and I can't wait to see you again!

Madison Doll [userpic]

Safer Sex....

April 2nd, 2006 (10:08 am)

My darling Pixie came up with this and I thought that I would post it in my journal as it is of great importance:


Just a little reminder as you are feeling the spring and urges are taking over your thoughts like you are going into rutt... (an uncontrolable urge to spread your seed).

The group of us at Pin-up Girls Toronto are eager to fulfil some of your college fantacies..

Serious enquiries only please - 2/3/4 girls for an experience that will leave you with memories to last a lifetime!

Hope to see you soon!

If you have the means and are thinking of booking us for a little fun.. There are some basics...

-be prepared - loads of condoms, lube, gloves, garbage pail, water, mouthwash, antaceptic wipes, towels, tooth brush & tooth paste (if it's at your location we will bring most items - if joining us this is what you should expect)

-use seperate condoms on every girl

-remember that each woman offers different services - we can discuss this at the beginning when we lay out our adventure

-never touch your bits then go to touch one of the women - there are fluids that are present and it is never advisable to transfer them with DATY & Digit play

-anaceptic wet wipes for between DATY & Digits

-mouth wash (DATY) - it's proper to rince between girls and to make it as easy as possible

-never double dip - it's not good for the inner balance or our bits - this conserns FS, Digits & DDP

-Conserning all things DATO - do not try and go from DATO to DATY! again not healthy for our bits.

-rimming again - once it has occured as much as you are into the moment... take a break - brush, rince, wash with soap - this may get you kissed again.. (sounds basic lol)

-more on DATY - from one girl to the next - rince... wipe.. we are all healthy individuals - but our inner balance is completly different...

-have fun and relax... the flow will be natural.. it won't take away from the 'sexiness' it will make us want to ravish you that much more..

okie dokie - that's all - just a little primer... off for some more fun

the lot of us at http://www.pinupgirlstoronto.com are eager for more group fun!


XOXO
Madison Doll

Madison Doll [userpic]

May god save this sinners soul!!!!

March 23rd, 2006 (03:03 pm)

I was raised southern baptist so by no means am I new to the religious scare tatics. If you sin your soul will burn in the fiery pits of hell forever. Well then I received this email. Now I have received emails of a religious nature before. I read them and delete them. This one though really caught my eye...

THE PASSION LIVES!!!

JESUS CHRIST IS RISEN FROM THE DEAD!
ONE ALL POWERFUL CREATOR GOD REIGNS SUPREME!!!

IN SPITE OF THIS PROSTITUTES, WHORES, PORNOGRAPHERS, HOMOSEXUALS, THIEVING POLITICIANS, CHRIST-HATING ISLAMIC GROUPS, AS WELL AS ATHEISTS ARE GAINING MORE AND MORE ACCEPTANCE THROUGHOUT OUR SOCIETY. EVEN SO THAT SO CALLED CHRISTIAN PASTORS READ THE BIBLE FROM THE PULPIT AND THEN SUPPORT POLITICIANS WHO ARE PRO-ABORTION AND PRO-HOMOSEXUALITY.

In the end it is the judgment of the one True and Living Creator God that comes to every person. God's everlasting judgment awaits us all. Some to Heaven and some to Hell. For this reason it is essential for each of us to know that the God who created us is absolutely outspoken of His hatred for adultery, pornography, whoring, lying, violence, brutality, murder, the killing His innocent, unborn babies..., as well as homosexuality and unbelief. So that every vile movie producer, debased actor, godless educator, money-loving preacher, pedophilic priest, liberal ideologue, baby killer, atheist, homosexual and follower of a false Christ-hating religion will by GOD'S OWN MOUTH be condemned by Jesus to burn alive in eternal and everlasting hellfire.

READ MORE ABOUT THE RISEN CHRIST OF GOD WHO WILL JUDGE YOUR ETERNAL SOUL.

WHEN JESUS CHRIST SUFFERED, DIED AND ROSE AGAIN FROM THE DEAD HE PROVED TO EVERY PERSON WHO WOULD EVER LIVE THAT HE AND HE ALONE IS THE ONE TRUE AND LIVING CREATOR GOD. GOD INCARNATE. GOD COME IN THE FLESH. THE GREAT CREATOR GOD WHO ALONE HAS THE POWER TO FORGIVE SIN; WHO ALONE HAS THE POWER TO GIVE LIFE AND TO TAKE LIFE. THE ONLY GOD THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HISTORY OF THE WORLD WHO IS WORTHY TO BE PRAISED!!!

For the past 25 years we have preached the life-changing, soul saving love of Jesus Christ. If you can afford to help us with any size financial gift - we will send you a FREE COPY of the unforgettable book, LOVE THAT JESUS.

GOSPEL MINISTRIES INT'L
PO BOX 180843
CASSELBERRY, FL 32718

Help us with any size financial gift...Hmmm.... You would think that last person they would want money from would be the, what was it again...PROSTITUTES, WHORES, PORNOGRAPHERS, HOMOSEXUALS, THIEVING POLITICIANS, CHRIST-HATING ISLAMIC GROUPS, AS WELL AS ATHEISTS ARE GAINING MORE AND MORE ACCEPTANCE THROUGHOUT OUR SOCIETY. EVEN SO THAT SO CALLED CHRISTIAN PASTORS READ THE BIBLE FROM THE PULPIT AND THEN SUPPORT POLITICIANS WHO ARE PRO-ABORTION AND PRO-HOMOSEXUALITY.

So why the hell are they writing to me???

Madison Doll [userpic]

Long Lost Friends

March 2nd, 2006 (10:32 pm)

So I recently discovered the sensation that is sweeping the nation, otherwise known as myspace. Yes I know that I am a bit behind the times and you have all known about it forever. I love it. It is like crack to me. I can't seem to get off!

I have discovered old friends from high school, old boyfriend, girlfriend and people who I was in church youth group with. I have posted my pictures, picked out a special song that really defines "myspace". Even selected a little witty quote to summarize my mood at the top of my edited by thomas myspace page. However though of this should be charging. He/She would make a fortune!

So if you haven't checked it out...Check it out!
BUT!!!! Don't say I didn't warn you....

Madison Doll

Madison Doll [userpic]

Upcoming Events!!!!

January 18th, 2006 (09:32 am)

I thought that I would list a few upcoming events in Toronto that I am really excited about...

1. Under the Mink (January 11-24th)
http://www.thescandelles.com
Under the Mink is a multidisciplinary affair—a celebration of truculent women in cinema from Theda Bara to Norma Rae to lesbian porn director Maria Beatty. It tributes classic cinema as well as experimental film and pornography, with everyone from modern dancers to immerging filmmakers to sex workers to physical comedians to musicians commissioned to do pieces honouring the theme. If you want to get tickets, please call Buddies box office at 416-975-8555.

2. Gonzo Suicide Film Festival (Thursday January 26th at the Bloor Cinema)
http://www.myspace.com/gonzosuicide
On March 30th 2005 the world was forever changed. Jesse Collier unleashed the first ever Gonzo Suicide Film Fest upon the world! People laughed, people cried, and a few people actually shit their pants.
This January the boys from Ravavilad are unleashing the second Volume of whackyness! I expect to see you all there... or Ill send the ghost of Hunter S. Thompson to rape you while you sleep
CONTACT INFO
Mike Sykora - Qutip_64@hotmail.com

3. CuddleParty (January 22nd and 29th)
http://www.cuddleparty.com/
Cuddle Party is a playful social event designed for adults to explore communication, boundaries and affection. Facilitated by a "Cuddle Lifeguard on Duty," who creates a comfortable, non-threatening environment, it's a great place to make new friends and to learn about yourself.
cuddletoronto@yahoo.ca

Madison Doll [userpic]

Recap of 2005 moving into 2006

January 14th, 2006 (08:25 am)

1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before?
I went to Vancouver, BC

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yes. I quit smoking in 2005. For 2006 I resolve to spend more time on myself. Figuring me out and making plans for my future.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes. My bestfriend

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. Thank God!

5. What countries did you visit?
US 4 times

6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005?
A little more fun. Last year I was so focused on school, work and my home that it left little time for me to have fun.

7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
- September 3 2005 was my 2 year anniversary living in Canada

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
SWAG-Sex Work Assistance Guide http://www.sex-work.org

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not managing my money as well as I could have.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes. Several Stomach issues and hot coughs.(No more hot cough this year though...no smoking)

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My IPOD Nano (a birthday gift from Pixiegyrrl and Morgan Ellis)

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Jack Layton

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
George Bush

14. Where did most of your money go?
Expenses and Savings

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
School. Getting into UofT

16. What song will always remind you of 2005?
Don't Cha wish you girlfriend was hot like me...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
January always is a crazy month for me. This year is no different. Right now I am sad but I'm sure that will turn around.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Said sorry to those who I hurt

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Been mean

20. Did you fall in love in 2005?
Still in love

21. How many one-night stands?
2

22. What was your favourite TV program?
- Lost, Flip this house, OC, Homes on Homes, The Block

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No not really. My hate is pretty consistent

24. What was the best book you read?
The Feminine Mystic, Wicked, Politics of Lust, Re-evaluating your Relationships

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Garden State Soundtrack

28. What did you want and get?
Love

29. What did you want and not get?
A big house with a wrap around porch and a white picket fence.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Elizabethtown

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went out with some friends to listen to 80's music. Got smashed drunk and spend the next day barfing.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably satisfying?
Nothing. That would be impossible

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005?
Just me

34. What kept you sane?
Going to Yoga

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Colin Farrel

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
- Bush's War on Porn

37. Who did you miss?
My family and friends in Florida

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Hailey Pixigyrrl

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005:
Don't take things or people for granted. At any moment they can slip through your fingers and you will regret it for ever!

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I've been cheated so long I've been treated so long
as if I'm becoming untouchable.I don't need this.
I need the darkness, the sweetness, the sadness, the weakness
Oh I need this
I need a lullaby, a kiss goodnight, an angel
Sweet Love of my life.
Oh I need this...
Natalie Merchant:My Skin

Madison Doll [userpic]

When life hands you lemons...make lemonade?

January 8th, 2006 (09:58 am)

So recently I have had some stuff go on in my life that I would classify as lemons and damn sours ones at that. Things in my personal life that is. Now I usually am a positive person, a really positive person. The kinda gal who is always sticking by "Everything happens for a reason" and "If it's meant to work out it will." Now that I am on the receiving end of the drab it seems a little harder to swallow.

So I sit here now passed my tears and anger,wondering..."Who knows how to make lemonade?"

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